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| News... and more. Get all the latest news, insights, gossip, gripes, and events going on around Ship... Make sure to check back often for new postings! |
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 | An American Tale | |
Posted By: Skywalker (Nov 29 2005, 05:11:02 am) |
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So today I went to lunch with my friend, Lisa. Aside from some friendly banter and an interesting conversation about sex (another story for another day), nothing much of significance was going on.
As the lunch went on, however, I felt an underlying tension that was slowly getting more and more noticeable. I noticed that she was starting to fidget with her napkin. She wouldn't meet my eyes; instead she stared at my tray. Her words were becoming strained. She was fighting some irresistible urge that just couldn't and wouldn't be bottled up....
Finally, near the end of lunch, she came out with it:
"Are you going to just throw away those ketchup packets?"
...Huh? I looked down and noticed that I hadn't used 3 of the maybe 7 packets of ketchup that I had picked up at the counter.
Now, I've had my fair share of experiences with the strange quirks of women, and I know that at times like these, the best advice to follow is this: sometimes you just have to pick your battles.
This was one of those times.
"Absolutely," I said, and she scowled. "You're such an American," she said accusingly.
Damn, that one hurt. I tried to think of a comeback to use against someone from the heart of the midwest, with blonde hair, green eyes, and who had two unused napkins sitting on her tray, ready to be thrown away. Strangely, nothing came to mind....
I was in a compromising mood, however, so I offered her this:
"Tell you what... I'll throw two packets away, and return one to the counter."
No deal. She wasn't buying it. After a few more exchanges, it was time to go back to work.
I felt her eyes on me as I approached the trash can. I picked one packet up, made sure she could see it, then dropped the rest of the packets into the trash can.
To make a long story short, I don't think she'll have much to say to me for a little while... but I think the friendship will survive. I returned the one packet to the counter (mostly out of curiosity to see what the people behind it would do), and got some strange looks. I'm convinced that as soon as I turned my back, they dug it out of the bucket and threw it away anyway.
I've always thrown extra packets away. But I know some people keep them, take them home, frame them, or whatever else makes them feel like they didn't waste it. (See: Ketchup Packet Museum)
Maybe I'm in the minority here. Am I the villain? What do you do with your unused ketchup packets? Yes, this is important stuff. |
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Category : Food
|  Comments [11] |
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By: Missy P @ Time : Dec 11 2005 03:55:38 am : |
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You're a damn pollock. You need to converse that stuff.
You probably killed a whole pack of dolphins.
Dick. |
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By: Skywalker @ Time : Dec 14 2005 10:09:52 am : |
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| Yes... finally a confirmation. Now I dont have to feel bad about wasting ketchup anymore... |
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By: jellyfish @ Time : Jan 25 2006 09:58:09 pm : |
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| who really cares -- do you not have enough class work to do ???? instead you are wasting your time discussing ketchup?????? what is with you people????? |
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By: Skywalker @ Time : Jan 26 2006 03:14:01 am : |
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| Even better. I work for the gov't. This is your tax dollars hard at work.... |
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By: randomness @ Time : Feb 10 2006 01:17:34 am : |
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| its just ketchup |
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By: areustupid @ Time : Mar 13 2006 03:18:26 am : |
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You should of saved the lives of those two ketchup packets, then maybe you would have banged that midwest, beef feed, hot blonde instead of writing about ketchup packets.
THINK NEXT TIME!!!!! |
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By: lewie @ Time : Mar 13 2006 05:39:43 am : |
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Uh, Missy I think you mean conserve...not converse. Unless of course you enjoy talking to ketchup packets!!!
On another note...areustupid makes an excellent argument. |
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By: Skywalker @ Time : Mar 14 2006 12:10:01 am : |
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| areustupid wins the thread. |
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By: cracker @ Time : Jul 25 2006 07:21:02 am : |
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well, instead of conversing with ketchup, maybe there was a middle ground...
as i am sure areustupid was trying to spell out for us subtly, ketchup is better shared with others. |
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By: Shadow @ Time : Aug 22 2006 11:22:37 pm : |
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| This post has given me a profound illusion of throwing away massive Sam's Club size bottles of Ketchup in the Dump, and seiging the Heinz Warehouse. It is ketchup, throwing away a tablespoon isn't a big thing individually. |
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By: chris @ Time : Feb 10 2008 09:26:40 pm : |
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throw them in the glove box for later
stick them under someone's car tires just to see them run over it and see exploded ketchup everywhere.
throw them at people?
what ever tickels that pickle |
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